Danzig

Glenn Danzig came with a reputation. Supposedly, he was a notorious Neanderthal prick with tour requests for promoters that were quite out of the ordinary. There were (and still are for that matter) legendary rumors that his tour rider included the phrase, “No one may look Mr. Danzig directly in the eyes.” In later years when asked about that addition, Glenn never came straight out to deny it, but would add that they put some strange requests in their contract just to see if the promoters were actually reading it completely. Tony has informed me that the paperwork for the No Clubs! show contained no such demand.

I had been a Glenn Danzig fan since his days in the horror punk group The Misfits, and I had followed his musical progression with the band incarnations that followed; namely death rock icons Samhaim and the heavy metal and blues infused Danzig. I tended to gravitate towards darker and somewhat ominous music at that period in my life, and Glenn filled that space quite sufficiently.

In 1990, when Tony & Dave announced that No Clubs! would be promoting a show in support of Danzig’s new album, Lucifuge, I was about as giddy as a young heathen could be. I would not be creating the flyer or even working the show that night, but I knew if Glenn would allow it, I’d at the very least get the chance to meet him and find out myself if the rumors about him were fact or purely myth.

The time I actually spent with him was brief, but would supply a story I would tell for many years; one in which I’m about to share at this very moment.

During Danzig’s set, which was both amazing and thunderous in tone, there were scantily clad women everywhere you could gaze. There was one beauty in particular that caught everyone’s attention, a busty blonde that would stand on a table in the middle of the room and flash Glenn her breasts every time he looked her way. She was wearing next to nothing, and you could tell he obviously saw her, because he would become transfixed in that direction every now and then as he sang.

After the show, the band retired to their motor coach, which was located in the alley behind the venue. Blockades had been erected to keep people from rushing the vehicle, and some well placed security guards were in place to keep everyone in check. Glenn and company never left the coach, so meeting them was a task that only a meager few would accomplish that evening.

Tony knew how much I loved Danzig, but he was hesitant to ask for a face to face meeting. Glenn had been quite hospitable to everyone involved and was nothing like the legend that had preceded him, but Tony didn’t want to push it. It was only after some anguished pleas that he finally relented, and allowed me the chance to knock on the coach’s door with the intention of asking Glenn if he had any requests from No Clubs! that could be accommodated.

I hesitantly tapped the door a few times, and Danzig’s tour manager answered after a long and somewhat agonizing space of time. I informed him that I was with No Clubs! and Tony & Dave wanted to know if there was anything they could do for Glenn. He asked me to step inside and wait while he retreated to the back to pose the question. I was flustered that I had gained access to the tour bus, but was still denied actually meeting the dark master.

Suddenly, and much to my delight, Glenn appeared from behind the draped partition. He walked over to me and extended a sweaty hand, which I wholeheartedly took into my own.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Andi,” I happily replied.

He didn’t wait for any more dialogue from me before posing a second request.

“Did you see that girl who kept showing me her tits?”

I informed him that I thought everybody in the place saw the young lady he spoke of. He let out a small chuckle, and asked his third and final question.

“Could you go out and find her for me?”

I assured him that I would do my best to locate her and immediately left to go on my new quest. It didn’t take long. After perusing the gaggle of fans that were attached to the barricades, I took a short walk around the venue. It was then that I saw her sitting on a Camaro with a few of her barely dressed friends. I was starting to really like this new endeavor he had thrust upon me.

I approached the car and asked her name.

“Why do you want to know?” She asked with a forceful tone.

I explained that I worked for the concert promoter, and that Glenn had asked me to find her. She didn’t have to ask why. It was painfully obvious.

“Alison,” was the reply as she excitedly jumped from the car.

I led her back to the alley through the barricades, and once again knocked on the tour bus door. I had only been gone a short span, and this time Glenn answered it himself. He greeted us with a winning yet lecherous smile.

“Glenn,” I announced, “I’d like you to meet Alison.”

He gave me a look that implied ‘well done, young man’ and escorted her aboard.

After the door closed behind them, I went back into the venue to find someone, anyone, to tell my tale. I found my co-worker Nicolle, who also shared my Danzig infatuation. She had the opportunity to meet him earlier in the night, but was most certainly entertained by my enthusiasm. She especially liked my preface to the story which was just eight simple words.

“I think I just became Glenn Danzig’s pimp.”